Throughout my 28 year career, I have asked thousands of people this question, “On a scale between zero (not effective) and ten (very effective) how effective were your primary caregivers at teaching you how to have a good relationship? I have asked people this question all over the world. In large and small groups the average answer is almost always below a five. In essence, most of us have grown up in homes were we haven’t seen a great model. As a result, when we are in a committed relationship, we struggle to know how to resolve differences. If we want to improve in our relationships, we have to develop our relationship skills. Unfortunately, far too many people wait to learn these skills. If you want to connect in a deeper and more meaningful way in your relationship, I encourage you to read and learn from those who have studied relationships.  

If you were to answer the question above, what score would you give your primary caregivers? Were they effective at teaching you how to have a healthy relationship?

If you score is low, where have you learned relationship skills?

Here are a few of my favorite resources on relationships?

1. Hold Me Tight (By Susan Johnson)
2. 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work
3. Test Your Relationship Assessment System

If you would like to learn how to be better in your relationship. I invite you to get started today. In a few short minutes you could gain a better understanding of your relationship challenges. When you take the test, you will be given instant access to your results and the personalized feedback based on your answers. You don’t have to wonder what is wrong any longer. You can assess your relationship and learn how to change the behaviors that are not working.